Here are some considerations to ponder upon evaluating whether to save your relationship or not.
First, before you even start outlining a plan of action for getting your ex back, you must be absolutely sure of one thing: Should I Get My Ex Back?
Meaning, is it worth bringing that love interest back, and resuming the relationship?
One of the main reasons the process of saving a relationship seems complicated is because we are often not thinking with logic, but rather sunk in a pool of emotions where everything seems confusing and overwhelming.
And the fact remains that many relationships end because there's nothing left to save, and they should actually stay that way.
Sometimes the relationship is extremely toxic and has been that way since the get-go, but while it existed, the person just couldn't see it with their own eyes.
However, for outsiders it could actually very easy to spot this.
Either way, you need to investigate whether your relationship deserves to be saved.
There are some questions you have to ask yourself if you want to determine whether the relationship is worth it or not.
You're trying to get back to your ex, for fear of being alone.
Let's face it, when you are in a relationship, you start thinking your single friends are living the high life, taking full advantage of the freedom that being single may offer.
But it's when you become single that you remember the weekends at night dating a cold pizza.
Now, some people are simply terrified of being alone.
Part of the freedom you should enjoy when you're single comes from being able to be comfortable with being alone, with no need for dating anyone.
If you think your ex is so special, they can't simply be replaced by someone else, that's a good sign your relationship may be worth saving.
Let's go forward.
You had to mask your true self.
It's normal for us to have a certain difference in attitude when dealing with different types of people.
You certainly don't act exactly the same way with your parents, your siblings, that you would act with a few special friends, or with the person you have a relationship with.
However, when you're dealing with a healthy relationship, what you're doing is exploring a certain side of your personality - that albeit different from how you'd act with other people, it's still genuine.
There are several reasons for a person to put on a mask during a relationship.
For insecurity issues, one could think their love interest might not find them enough as they are.
And gradually, they began forging a character, which with time might have crystallized itself into a habit and then it gets just too difficult to act in any other manner around the other person.
As the portuguese poet Fernando Pessoa would say, "When I tried to take off the mask, It was stuck to my face".
This component alone should not eliminate all possibility for the relationship rescuing worthiness, as long as you realize that if you were to save the relationship one next time, you should do it with your full identity.
If you have committed this mistake in your relationship, there might be a strong possibility this is actually one of the main causes it has come to an end. But, if you're willing to pull off the mask, there may still be a chance for making it worthwhile.
3) You two would have lots of fights about things you could not change.
Now, it's important to mention that couples who have a healthy relationship also fight! This is part of the natural calibration for interaction and creating intimacy between two people over time. As long as there is a reasonable thresholdand for how these fights manifest themselves.
However, one problem that might become a major issue for a relationship has roots on the causes for these fights being something that cannot be changed.
People meet and get enchanted by one another, and at the beginning it is very easy to put aside some of the shortcomings and problems that one might encounter.
You may hope eventually it will all be solved. That person will change.
But when the relationship starts getting to a long term stage and you realize that not only things will not change, but they cannot change, tolerance for these issues will diminish significantly.
What should happen here is:
Either you change your expectations for changing what's bothering you so much, or it might simply not be worth saving that relationship.